Friday Night Fun

What a great night! I was supposed to work until 8pm but my boss came in and told me to take off at 7pm. I picked Collin up an hour early so we were able to spend a little extra quality time together. Wyatt had to work late tonight so it was just me and my little guy. Our evening consisted of cuddling in bed watching an oldie but goodie, "The Shaggy Dog". Probably not Collin's first choice but he needs to know that before color there was a thing called black and white!! It just puts a smile on my face to see how excited he gets when mama goes "night night" with him. And, I just don't have words for when those big brown eyes look up at me and say "Love you mama". Wow! How do you put a reply into words? I don't know, so I give him a BIG hug and a kiss and say "Love you too Buddy",and then wish that moment would last forever.

FFF-Theme:Unique

Wow, unique, this was challenging. I thought about a unique picture-aesthetically speaking- but my photography skills have not yet matched my aspirations. Don't worry, I have the top of the line camera just in case it happens. Then I tried to think of what makes Collin unique. Since this is a blog about Collin that would only make sense. The one thing that kept popping up in my mind was his love of hats, specifically his cowboy hat. So, I decided on photos from a photo session Collin had with his cousins a few months back. The cowboy hat goes everywhere. When it was time for pictures I thought I could be sly and while he was preoccupied playing with the girls I could hide it-no such luck. I didn't stress over it too much because it reflects the true personality of Collin. At first, I have to admit, I was a bit embarrassed when we would take him out and he had to wear the hat. Not to mention the fact that he has to pull it down as far as it will go so his ears stick straight out! For obvious reasons it draws a lot of attention but Collin is a "people" person and loves the attention. Some days if you are lucky he will even tip his hat and give you a "YEE HEE", the Collin version of YEE-HAW. Now that is unique.







For more FFF, go to Kiss the Frog 4 Me.

Wordless Wednesday

#2?

I was catching up on my blog updates when I read a post from one of the blogs I follow. It was a little ironic because she was discussing a topic that has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. Even more ironic was the fact that just yesterday I was just discussing my feelings of "guilt" with friends in regard to wanting a second child. I remember feeling some resentment while on our first journey to adopt Collin against people who already had a child. I remember thinking-you already have one and I don't-I just want a child, is that too much to ask? I remember thinking that if we just had one child we would be happy and satisfied and never want for more. But, here we are discussing adding to our family once again. That puts us in the position of those people I once resented. I have such mixed emotions. A part of me wonders if I could ever love another child the way I love Collin. I would never want to shortchange him or another baby. On the other hand I remember having some doubts in the beginning about bonding and if I would feel love for a baby I didn't give birth to. Don't get me wrong, we were committed to Collin but I think having never experienced a child or adoption before that those are perfectly normal feelings. Then I recall seeing Collin for the first time and knowing that he was our child-there was absolutely no doubt. Any fears I had were immediately erased and I actually felt foolish for even feeling that way. So it is probably safe to assume that I would love a second child in the same way, but at times I feel as if I would be "cheating" on Collin. Those "cheating" feelings seem to be presenting themselves less and less as Collin grows and I begin to see that advantages of him having a sibling. I want for him to have that relationship in his life. It is completely different from the love of a parent and I really want him to experience that.

I also fear ruining the great thing that we have going right now. Would it change the dynamic too much? Would it be too stressful with 2 kids running around? Change is always scary. But, being parents has been such a blessing for Wyatt and I. He is a great and completely involved dad. We love our family and the time we get to spend together. Collin absolutely LOVES when Peyton comes to visit. He plays with him non-stop and seems so happy to have someone besides us to play with. He also really loves his cousins and misses them a lot.


And so it seems that we may be beginning a new journey and writing the story of another child's life. How will it happen? I am not sure. Sometimes, I wish it was easier and we could just get pregnant like others rather than planning and saving...and saving some more. Fortunately, I think I have realized the value of the "journey" to a child and how it becomes the "story" of their life-but it doesn't make it any easier! This is all part of the process. I remember so well the trials and tribulations of finally arriving at Collin but I know it was right and I know we followed a path that was "meant to be". At this point, I feel less stressed over the possibilities than I did the first time around. We have Collin and if we are meant to have another child it WILL happen. If it doesn't, I'm okay with that too. There are so many directions this road could take us and I'm happy to take the ride. Who knows, maybe this is the beginning of my documentation of "The Story of #2".

Feel free to comment on your thoughts about adding another child to the family. How has it worked for you?

FFF-Theme:Green

Yes, I know it is Sunday but I was out of town-Sorry.This one was so cute I just couldn't skip it! Conveniently, just in time for St. Patrick's Day this became Collin's favorite hat.




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Spring has Sprung

I have been a little lackadaisical with the blogging as of late. I think it is because we haven't been doing much. I have been feeling very unorganized and just plain lazy. Today, is a new day! It feels like spring has sprung! We ventured out of the house and played in the yard, went to the park, went to the gym and Collin and Wyatt even got a nap! Now, I know that Ohio will sneak in at least one more snow storm before June but I will just appreciate this day while we have it.



Last year Collin didn't quite understand how to operate his "motorcycle". He would push the button and let go so he would just stop, start, stop, start-not much fun. This year he quickly figured out how to hold the button down so that he could keep going. Now we have to work on the steering!!



Collin has also discovered that it is fun to throw things in the creek. So far it has just been pine cones and rocks but I foresee a variety of items going in the creek as the season progresses. I am even trying to mentally prepare for the day when he slips and falls down the embankment. I know it is bound to happen and it will probably not be pretty. I keep telling myself I can't live my life worrying that he is going to get hurt at every turn. He has to learn and I have to let him (within reason of course). Speaking of get hurt...







Here is Collin and Wyatt exploring the caves at the park. Not the best idea for the little wobbly one, but he loved it!



And finally, Collin has to place a memento from his trip to the park in the trunk of his car. Usually it is a rock but we have a feather, a tennis ball, a buckeye and some other miscellaneous items.

FFF-Theme:THEN

There were so many "THEN" pictures to choose from and each one has a really special memory that comes along with it. I chose these because they really show how small Collin was way back when. These pics were taken on our first visit trip at our hotel the Porta Antigua. We figured out the next day that the poor little guy had an ear infection-hopefully not from us taking him in the pool!! He was a little peanut!




Here he is at home in July of 2008, a little over a year later, at the pool...WEARING THE SAME BATHING SUIT!! He's still a little peanut! I don't think he will be wearing the same suit again this year though!



To see more FFF go to Kiss the Frog 4 Me

Wordless Wednesday-it is Wednesday right??

Vacation Pictures

My one and only follower, Leslie, requested vacation pictures so here they are. All I can say is I am glad the weather has warmed up a bit! I'm really getting tired of Ohio!

The Girls are Gone

Well, my nieces Brylie and Kahlen have officially left for their new home in North Carolina. I have very mixed emotions. On one hand it will be very good for my brother and sister in-law to have the opportunity to be the sole caregivers for their children. They have had a lot of "assistance" from both of their families for the past 4 years and they will now be able to grow together as a family on their own. My brother is finally getting to do something he wants to do. Hopefully, once he completes school it will lead to opportunities that will allow him to support his family, be independent and have pride in something he has created. Then, there is my selfish side. I truly feel like those girls are my flesh and blood. I was lucky enough to be there when both of them were born. I love them both as if they were my own. They are more like Collin's sisters than his cousins. I hope that the three of them will have a relationship like the one my brother and I have. I am also sad that they will not see each other on an almost daily basis. It was so fun watching them play and interact with one another. Poor Collin has lost all of his playmates! Mallory from across the street is gone, now Brylie and Kahlen. Looks like we will be actively looking for new playmates so sweet little Collin doesn't turn into a spoiled little brat!! I took lots of pictures of their last hurrah but will have to post them later. I have had some technical difficulties in the photography department lately. The LCD screen on my brand new digital SLR cracked rendering it essentially useless so I had to go back to my old slow camera. Now the computer won't accept the memory card from the old camera and I can't find the cord. So...no pictures for a while. I shipped my camera off today for repair. I am hoping it won't cost an arm and a leg to fix, especially since I just paid it off!!

A horse knows a cowboy when he sees one

My parents are suspects in the case of urban sprawl! Their condo backs up to a "farm". Really it is more of a farmhouse with a couple of barely standing out-buildings. They also have a horse-a very sorry looking horse- that gets fed too many apples and gets a tummy ache-probably because people feel sorry for it. I will admit he does look well fed, if nothing else. The kids were yelling for the horse to come over and he obliged. They fed him apples and grass, which he seemed to enjoy very much. He took a definite liking to Collin and his cowboy hat.I think a horse knows a cowboy when he sees one! It was really funny. The video is a little long but cute. Collin actually gives the horse a kiss.

Technology

The night before last we got a phone call at about 10pm from a number we didn't recognize. As soon as I heard the voice I knew it must be someone calling for Mama Rosa (Collin's Foster Mother)in Guatemala. I didn't really understand the broken English but I thought he was saying something about talking on the computer. I though he meant e-mail. I finally figured out that he wanted to chat online. By the time I figured it out and set up an account they were offline. The next day I was on the computer a couple of times and saw he was logged on but never got a response. Last night, I was on again and an invite to chat popped up from Rosa! Even better she has a web camera and I was able to see them live! Technology is really unbelievable! Who would have thought that we would be able to see someone and talk to them on the computer let alone someone in Guatemala. So needless to say, I had to go get a web cam. I wish they would have had a computer when Collin was there so I could have seen him every day. I probably would have done nothing but sit in front of the computer though! It was really cool seeing her family again and to see how big the kids are getting. I just got my web cam set up so hopefully tomorrow they will be able to see Collin live on the computer! I just can't get over the fact that all of these advancements have been made during my lifetime. We never had a computer growing up. The first time I used one was in college. The first time I owned one I was in my very late 20's. Now, I am lost without it. Sometimes I think we spend too much time on it but I'm grateful to be able to document Collin's story this way and to be able to share it with people literally all over the world.

Hopefully Collin will cooperate tomorrow and show off a bit for Mama Rosa and her family. I know it will make them so happy to be able to see him again.

Wordless Wednesday