One year ago today, Collin was placed in our arms for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember seeing Mama Rosa walk through the doors of the Marriott Hotel in Guatemala City. I recognized her from the pictures and I knew my baby!!!
All of the world melted away and it was just us in that hotel lobby looking at our son face to face for the first time. I knew in the back of my mind that in 7 days I was going to have to hand him back but at that moment, I didn't care. I was just so happy to finally have that baby in my arms-or rather Wyatt's arms. I also remember having to fight for my turn!!
I am surprised at how emotional I am feeling about this day. I pulled out the pictures from the trip and they just brought tears of joy to my eyes. I still get updates from the online group through the adoption agency and reading those posts today really brought back all of the emotion of the day. I was reading posts of people just returning from their first visit trip and describing the amazing experience of it all. And also the pain of what the future held-lots of uncertainty but in the end they come home!! They really do!!
Now I see my little 16 month old flying across the floor yelling "MAMA MAMA MAMA" with his big dimpled smile and it makes me BEAM! I look at my house with toys strewn everywhere and I DON"T CARE-I LOVE IT-because it makes him happy!
Thanks to Collin, I now know what Backyardigans are and I know all the words to the theme song. Gone are the days of singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and "In da Club" in da car. Now we sing songs like "Toast" and "Elmo's Song", which is now Collin's Song.
Thanks to Collin I have learned to type blog entries with one hand while bouncing him on my lap and entertaining him with the other. I have learned to share anything and everything that goes in my mouth and that if I don't want to, I better hide it!! I have learned to decipher the grunts and moans and groans of baby talk. I know "uhuh" means drink and "pa" means pacifier and a kiss that turns into a bite means I'm tired put me to bed fast.
But, through all of that, the most important thing I have learned is that my life was not complete until he came into it. Wyatt and I had a great life with the freedom to come and go as we pleased but our life today is a million times better and more meaningful with Collin in it.
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Guatoberfest Cruise 2009
My soapbox about the Advent Conspiracy
I came across this video on another blog. I have to admit I only looked at it for entertainment value. I assumed with a title like that, it had to be some wacko conspiracy theory and who doesn't need a good laugh. Suprisingly enough it really touched me and made me think. It didn't grab my interest because of it's religious value, because that's not really my thing. I am not the type of person that flaunts religion or believes in pushing your beliefs onto others. It touched me because of it's human value and because it shows me how quickly I forget.
When we were in Guatemala it was truly a life changing experience for a myriad of reasons, only one of which was bringing home a baby! We saw poverty that we could never imagine in this country. I remember thinking when I was there that despite all of the stress of the situation, I was more at peace than I had ever felt in my life. Among other things, there was no pressure to have more...there was nothing to have. People just lived their lives. Families worked together, lived together in cramped housing-if they had a roof over their heads at all-and they were happy! We were forced to enjoy eachother without our "creature comforts" and I loved it. I now remember hoping that once we got home, I would never lose that idea that we don't really need much at all. I realized our society makes us think we need more but we really don't. And after watching the video it makes me realize that I have failed miserably.
I had made up my mind that in order to honor my new found attitude and our sons heritage, we would sponsor a Guatemalan family every year so that they could have food and heat and their children could go to school-things we take for granted on a daily basis. For some reason I can never seem to find the money to do that- BUT- I can find the money to buy coffee every day, sometimes several times a day, Collin will see a room full of gifts on Christmas morning, I can go out to eat, I can do whatever I want for the most part. My priorities have gone right back to where they were before I experienced Guatemala and it makes me sad. That is the reason that I am posting the video in a permenant spot on the blog, so that I am constantly reminded, not only during Christmas but all year to give PRESENCE to my friends and family not PRESENTS and to give back to something that I feel very strongly about. I don't write this to push Guatemalan charity or any charity but to encourage anyone reading this to slow down and take a look at your life and see what means the most to you and see where it takes you.
When we were in Guatemala it was truly a life changing experience for a myriad of reasons, only one of which was bringing home a baby! We saw poverty that we could never imagine in this country. I remember thinking when I was there that despite all of the stress of the situation, I was more at peace than I had ever felt in my life. Among other things, there was no pressure to have more...there was nothing to have. People just lived their lives. Families worked together, lived together in cramped housing-if they had a roof over their heads at all-and they were happy! We were forced to enjoy eachother without our "creature comforts" and I loved it. I now remember hoping that once we got home, I would never lose that idea that we don't really need much at all. I realized our society makes us think we need more but we really don't. And after watching the video it makes me realize that I have failed miserably.
I had made up my mind that in order to honor my new found attitude and our sons heritage, we would sponsor a Guatemalan family every year so that they could have food and heat and their children could go to school-things we take for granted on a daily basis. For some reason I can never seem to find the money to do that- BUT- I can find the money to buy coffee every day, sometimes several times a day, Collin will see a room full of gifts on Christmas morning, I can go out to eat, I can do whatever I want for the most part. My priorities have gone right back to where they were before I experienced Guatemala and it makes me sad. That is the reason that I am posting the video in a permenant spot on the blog, so that I am constantly reminded, not only during Christmas but all year to give PRESENCE to my friends and family not PRESENTS and to give back to something that I feel very strongly about. I don't write this to push Guatemalan charity or any charity but to encourage anyone reading this to slow down and take a look at your life and see what means the most to you and see where it takes you.
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