Yes, I've been MIA once again but come on it's summer!! We have been very busy but we have managed to have lots of fun! SO I have lots of catching up to do. I don't know why I don't post more from my iPhone-pictures at least. It's hard to keep track of everything when I wait so long to update but I can't let the blog go. It's my version of record keeping, tracking milestones, funny moments, favorite photos and hopefully someday I will get around to making a book out of it. I think it will be a great gift for Collin-the story of his life AND...I don't have to keep ten thousand mementos because I can just take a picture of them and they will be preserved forever. I know our basement is thanking me for not filling it to the seams and I am sure that Collin and his future wife will be thanking me too. Don't get me wrong, I still hold on to lots of things, mostly stuff from Guatemala; the outfit Collin wore home, his first pair of shoes, tons of paperwork, letters from his foster family.
Anyway...I will do my best to catch up and carry on...really...crickets...crickets.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Testing 1,2,3...
Yesterday I had "one of those days". I don't feel very proud of myself as a mom or a person in general. I'm pretty sure I failed the test. These aren't the moments that I like to write about but I hope they are moments that all moms go through. Collin may have been here for three years but I'm still new at this. This is my first time dealing with a three year old and sometimes I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do. Do you ever really know exactly what to do? Will it get better the second time around?
So, here's the story. I signed Collin up for swimming lessons and yesterday was our first class. I have been trying to talk it up and make it sound fun and exciting. I even quoted Little Bill "Guppy Guppy Guppy". Of course I got the usual questions...Are you going with me? Are you going to hold me? So, I told him I would be there the whole time watching from the edge of the pool with all the other mommies and daddies. I told him it would be really fun because he would be with other kids his age and maybe we could meet some new friends to play with.
I should have known when he refused to put on his swim trunks that it wasn't going to be good. I'm not one of those parents that wants to force their kid into activities but Collin loves the beach and the pool and we are talking about moving to the lake in a couple of years-the kid needs to know how to swim!! He has never shown fear of the water, he just has some unique aversions to certain things...like group activities. I like to think he's a rebel. When the other kids are in a circle singing nursery rhymes he stands up in the middle and belts out "Take me out to the ballgame". He plays well with other kids, I mean as well as you can expect for a 3 year old. So, we went to swim lessons in regular shorts. I try to pick my battles with him and I chose the swim lessons not the attire.
As soon as we pulled in the parking lot the whining started. We signed in and headed toward the pool. That is when the official FREAK OUT began. The screaming, crying, idonwannagomama, squirming, if I put him down he runs away kind of freak out. Needless to say I am certain we were a topic of conversation for the rest of the session. "You better never act like that little Johnny" I can hear it now. Yep, he was that kid and I was that mom!
I did my best to remain calm and pulled out all of my best mom calming techniques to no avail. This went on for about 15 minutes and class hadn't even started yet! I decided that this was not going to work. Although I had no clue what the problem was, he was inconsolable and that is the most frustrating thing as a parent. I didn't know if I was doing irreversible damage by forcing him into it or by not making him do it but at that point I didn't really care, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
I went out to the office and spoke to the lady at the desk. Of course as soon as we crossed the threshold of the door from the pool to the office, the freak out ended-he was getting his way. So, I told her that it wasn't going to work out right now and asked her if we could get a credit for a later date. She asked what the problem was-obviously they must have noise proof glass around that office 'cause if she didn't hear the problem for the last 15 minutes, I'd be happy to go pull one of the 20 parents currently thanking God that we were gone to let her know the problem. I politely explained that he was being a little uncooperative at the moment and perhaps we had attempted this too soon. "Well Ma'am if that's all, we can 't do anything for you. We really suggest that you go back in and at least try to get him to participate. You could always just watch today and see if it gets better tomorrow. Some kids are just slow to warm up." Thanks Dr. Spock, I think I freaking know my kid and this is NOT going to work but if you insist, sure, I'll go back in and piss everybody off. Hence, the beginning my decent into the realm of not very proud of myself.
We went back through the door and it was like we never left...but worse!! I could see the terror in the eyes of the nice, sweet little 16 year old girl teaching the class when REDRUM and his mama were headed back her way. I felt obligated to let her know that this was the doing of the sweet lady in the office and I hoped that it didn't start a chain reaction. I know if I saw someone kicking and screaming like a maniac on my first day of a class that I would probably turn and run for the hills.
I stood there attempting to maintain a choke hold on my child as he valiantly attempted to free himself from certain death. I was dripping sweat, my blood pressure was through the roof and I was beginning to have thoughts that I don't ever want to let past my lips-none of which was accomplishing my child learning to swim. I decided it was time to go-screw the $60! We walked through the magic door once again and just as Collin's blood curdling shrieking came to an abrupt halt..there she was...looking at me the wrong way...and then she has the nerve to say, in her most condescending tone "Have a nice day". Yep, she poked the mama bear-bad news for everyone. Hence, my entrance into the land of no return!
I walked my sweaty, heavy breathing, maniac kid toting self over to the counter, slammed my fist on it then pointed my witchy finger at the 10 ring right between her eyes and told her the keep the f*cking $60 and shove her nice day up her ass then proceeded to storm out, adding a nice door slamming for effect-as if I hadn't done enough. Yes, it felt really good for a split second and yes, it would have felt even better to hop over the counter and punch the "B" in the face but a second later I was drowning in regret. Nice example mom! Luckily I didn't have to suffer the repercussions of punching her in the face or shattering the glass door when I slammed it, but still, what am I teaching my kid?
But wait, it doesn't end there. I "placed" my poor child in his car seat in a non-loving manner and then proceeded to drive off like an idiot. Collin started yelling and crying that he wanted to get an apple dipper from McDonald's-are you freaking kidding me!?!?! And then, my biggest regret, I yelled at him to "Shut up"...really loud! Now, some of you may think that is no big deal and others may think "I would never do that" so feel free to judge me either way. I can assure you that no one can beat me up worse than me!
I hate the words "shut up" and I definitely do not consider it an appropriate thing to say to a 3 year old for many reasons. The even worse part is that he started bawling which immediately snapped me out of my selfish rant and made me feel really disgusted with myself. I was acting exactly like what I despise-the people I deal with on a daily basis at work. People that have no control of their emotions, no coping skills and act purely on emotion with no regard for consequence. It was the first time I had really been "out of control" with Collin. In that moment I understood, I think, how someone crosses the line and abuses a child. I also realized that I am so NOT that person. I could never do that. But, had I lived a different life or had a different upbringing, had I never learned to practice self-control and the many other skills required to be a functioning adult, I could see how it could happen. I am most definitely NOT condoning that behavior. Quite frankly, I devote a lot of thought attempting to understand how and why people do what they do to each other, especially someone they supposedly love. Let me tell you that moment scared the crap out of me and made me feel really ashamed of myself , my behavior and the example I set for my son. Honestly, I can't believe I am even writing about it on the blog-not a proud moment!
I pulled the car over and collected myself for a moment. I got out and went around to Collin's door, opened it and gave him a big hug and told him I was sorry for yelling at him and that it was not a nice thing to say. I felt like a complete idiot.
Once I recovered a bit, my mind began to question why Collin was behaving this way. All the worst case scenarios began swirling in my head...he's got attachment issues, he's got Aspergers Syndrome, he's got a sensory disorder an and on and on. I burned up Google as soon as we got home so that we could get help fast for whatever issue it was that he was having. Luckily, my common sense kicked back in when I realized he was not any of the things I was reading about on the Internet!
When Wyatt got home, I reluctantly told him about what had happened. I say reluctant not because I was ashamed of myself for yelling at Collin, but because I know he feels that I am too "soft" with Collin and that I "coddle" him, so I knew what was coming. Of course, I completely disagree with his observation. I think there are fundamental differences between men and women. Men love in one way and women in another. Wyatt and both meet Collin's needs in different ways. I think we both play a role and in those roles we balance each other out. If it were just me raising him then I would have to change the way that I deal with some situations, but it's not. I am his mom and I want to be the one that comforts him and provides him with the security of knowing I will always be there for him. I want to be the compassionate one that he can go to when he needs someone to lean on and the one that can always make him feel better. At the same time, I don't want him to be a big brat that nobody likes except his mommy =*) Is that so wrong?
Well, as I suspected, he said it, but he said it nicely so that helped. Regardless, it still made me puddle up. You try so hard to be the best mom you can be. You want to do everything right and then someone has to go and burst your bubble by questioning your tactics...and at a time when you are feeling like you are the worst of the worst.
I guess in the end it simply came down to a bad day for all of us. I suppose that this is what the whole "parenting" thing is about. I guess I will try to take a piece of my own advice... I will do my best to learn from my mistakes and hopefully not repeat them!
So, here's the story. I signed Collin up for swimming lessons and yesterday was our first class. I have been trying to talk it up and make it sound fun and exciting. I even quoted Little Bill "Guppy Guppy Guppy". Of course I got the usual questions...Are you going with me? Are you going to hold me? So, I told him I would be there the whole time watching from the edge of the pool with all the other mommies and daddies. I told him it would be really fun because he would be with other kids his age and maybe we could meet some new friends to play with.
I should have known when he refused to put on his swim trunks that it wasn't going to be good. I'm not one of those parents that wants to force their kid into activities but Collin loves the beach and the pool and we are talking about moving to the lake in a couple of years-the kid needs to know how to swim!! He has never shown fear of the water, he just has some unique aversions to certain things...like group activities. I like to think he's a rebel. When the other kids are in a circle singing nursery rhymes he stands up in the middle and belts out "Take me out to the ballgame". He plays well with other kids, I mean as well as you can expect for a 3 year old. So, we went to swim lessons in regular shorts. I try to pick my battles with him and I chose the swim lessons not the attire.
As soon as we pulled in the parking lot the whining started. We signed in and headed toward the pool. That is when the official FREAK OUT began. The screaming, crying, idonwannagomama, squirming, if I put him down he runs away kind of freak out. Needless to say I am certain we were a topic of conversation for the rest of the session. "You better never act like that little Johnny" I can hear it now. Yep, he was that kid and I was that mom!
I did my best to remain calm and pulled out all of my best mom calming techniques to no avail. This went on for about 15 minutes and class hadn't even started yet! I decided that this was not going to work. Although I had no clue what the problem was, he was inconsolable and that is the most frustrating thing as a parent. I didn't know if I was doing irreversible damage by forcing him into it or by not making him do it but at that point I didn't really care, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
I went out to the office and spoke to the lady at the desk. Of course as soon as we crossed the threshold of the door from the pool to the office, the freak out ended-he was getting his way. So, I told her that it wasn't going to work out right now and asked her if we could get a credit for a later date. She asked what the problem was-obviously they must have noise proof glass around that office 'cause if she didn't hear the problem for the last 15 minutes, I'd be happy to go pull one of the 20 parents currently thanking God that we were gone to let her know the problem. I politely explained that he was being a little uncooperative at the moment and perhaps we had attempted this too soon. "Well Ma'am if that's all, we can 't do anything for you. We really suggest that you go back in and at least try to get him to participate. You could always just watch today and see if it gets better tomorrow. Some kids are just slow to warm up." Thanks Dr. Spock, I think I freaking know my kid and this is NOT going to work but if you insist, sure, I'll go back in and piss everybody off. Hence, the beginning my decent into the realm of not very proud of myself.
We went back through the door and it was like we never left...but worse!! I could see the terror in the eyes of the nice, sweet little 16 year old girl teaching the class when REDRUM and his mama were headed back her way. I felt obligated to let her know that this was the doing of the sweet lady in the office and I hoped that it didn't start a chain reaction. I know if I saw someone kicking and screaming like a maniac on my first day of a class that I would probably turn and run for the hills.
I stood there attempting to maintain a choke hold on my child as he valiantly attempted to free himself from certain death. I was dripping sweat, my blood pressure was through the roof and I was beginning to have thoughts that I don't ever want to let past my lips-none of which was accomplishing my child learning to swim. I decided it was time to go-screw the $60! We walked through the magic door once again and just as Collin's blood curdling shrieking came to an abrupt halt..there she was...looking at me the wrong way...and then she has the nerve to say, in her most condescending tone "Have a nice day". Yep, she poked the mama bear-bad news for everyone. Hence, my entrance into the land of no return!
I walked my sweaty, heavy breathing, maniac kid toting self over to the counter, slammed my fist on it then pointed my witchy finger at the 10 ring right between her eyes and told her the keep the f*cking $60 and shove her nice day up her ass then proceeded to storm out, adding a nice door slamming for effect-as if I hadn't done enough. Yes, it felt really good for a split second and yes, it would have felt even better to hop over the counter and punch the "B" in the face but a second later I was drowning in regret. Nice example mom! Luckily I didn't have to suffer the repercussions of punching her in the face or shattering the glass door when I slammed it, but still, what am I teaching my kid?
But wait, it doesn't end there. I "placed" my poor child in his car seat in a non-loving manner and then proceeded to drive off like an idiot. Collin started yelling and crying that he wanted to get an apple dipper from McDonald's-are you freaking kidding me!?!?! And then, my biggest regret, I yelled at him to "Shut up"...really loud! Now, some of you may think that is no big deal and others may think "I would never do that" so feel free to judge me either way. I can assure you that no one can beat me up worse than me!
I hate the words "shut up" and I definitely do not consider it an appropriate thing to say to a 3 year old for many reasons. The even worse part is that he started bawling which immediately snapped me out of my selfish rant and made me feel really disgusted with myself. I was acting exactly like what I despise-the people I deal with on a daily basis at work. People that have no control of their emotions, no coping skills and act purely on emotion with no regard for consequence. It was the first time I had really been "out of control" with Collin. In that moment I understood, I think, how someone crosses the line and abuses a child. I also realized that I am so NOT that person. I could never do that. But, had I lived a different life or had a different upbringing, had I never learned to practice self-control and the many other skills required to be a functioning adult, I could see how it could happen. I am most definitely NOT condoning that behavior. Quite frankly, I devote a lot of thought attempting to understand how and why people do what they do to each other, especially someone they supposedly love. Let me tell you that moment scared the crap out of me and made me feel really ashamed of myself , my behavior and the example I set for my son. Honestly, I can't believe I am even writing about it on the blog-not a proud moment!
I pulled the car over and collected myself for a moment. I got out and went around to Collin's door, opened it and gave him a big hug and told him I was sorry for yelling at him and that it was not a nice thing to say. I felt like a complete idiot.
Once I recovered a bit, my mind began to question why Collin was behaving this way. All the worst case scenarios began swirling in my head...he's got attachment issues, he's got Aspergers Syndrome, he's got a sensory disorder an and on and on. I burned up Google as soon as we got home so that we could get help fast for whatever issue it was that he was having. Luckily, my common sense kicked back in when I realized he was not any of the things I was reading about on the Internet!
When Wyatt got home, I reluctantly told him about what had happened. I say reluctant not because I was ashamed of myself for yelling at Collin, but because I know he feels that I am too "soft" with Collin and that I "coddle" him, so I knew what was coming. Of course, I completely disagree with his observation. I think there are fundamental differences between men and women. Men love in one way and women in another. Wyatt and both meet Collin's needs in different ways. I think we both play a role and in those roles we balance each other out. If it were just me raising him then I would have to change the way that I deal with some situations, but it's not. I am his mom and I want to be the one that comforts him and provides him with the security of knowing I will always be there for him. I want to be the compassionate one that he can go to when he needs someone to lean on and the one that can always make him feel better. At the same time, I don't want him to be a big brat that nobody likes except his mommy =*) Is that so wrong?
Well, as I suspected, he said it, but he said it nicely so that helped. Regardless, it still made me puddle up. You try so hard to be the best mom you can be. You want to do everything right and then someone has to go and burst your bubble by questioning your tactics...and at a time when you are feeling like you are the worst of the worst.
I guess in the end it simply came down to a bad day for all of us. I suppose that this is what the whole "parenting" thing is about. I guess I will try to take a piece of my own advice... I will do my best to learn from my mistakes and hopefully not repeat them!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
FFF- You Pick
I decided to go back to vacation pictures this week. We went on vacation too early this year! We had a second trip planned to the Gulf Shores but ended up cancelling thanks to BP. As much as I would love to support the economy down there and I feel horrible for the people and our environment, I can't take my 3 year old to the beach and then tell him he has to swim in the pool. Trust me, it wouldn't be fun for any of us. This kid LOVES the beach! He loves running out into the waves, falling down and doing it again and again and again!! To have that energy! This is one of the many treasures that were found and RETURNED to the ocean. Oh how I wish we were still on vacation!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Bits of Our Weekend Vol.3
Well, once again we spent a good part of the weekend in Buckeye Lake but I can officially say that the "heads" won and we will be waiting a couple of years. Hopefully during that time we can complete a SECOND ADOPTION and prepare financially for our future lake living!! For now, we settled on going to the swimming pool!
Yes, Collin got a Sponge Bob Popsicle. When I gave it to him he said-that's not orange...my fault-LOL!
After the pool we were all worn out! The whole family ended up taking a nap in the middle of the day...something that almost never happens. I absolutely hate sleeping during the day!! But it worked out well because we all were able to stay up for the double feature at the drive-in!!
I have seen some comments that people are shocked and disgusted by the "adoption theme" in Despicable Me and that they were shocked because there was no mention of it in the trailers. Hello...it's because the movie isn't about adoption. It's about an evil villain evolving into a good man and becoming a loving father because 3 little girls helped him open his heart. They each gave the other something that made their lives better and everyone was happy. I think it's all in how YOU choose to look at something. If you are constantly looking for bad adoption themes you will find them everywhere. Just like in life if you constantly look for the negative you will find it and you will become what you seek-NEGATIVE. Sometimes I think people are a little too touchy about the whole adoption issue and it may just cause their kids to feel the same way. Adopted is only a small part of what my son "is". It is a part of his life that we honor and we talk about quite often but it does not define him and a movie or a comment by an uninformed or rude person will not define him either! We will talk about it and then move on. Our kids learn from us and how we react to things so if it is at all possible I am going to look for the positive and hopefully that will rub off on him. Maybe it's because Collin is only 3 and he doesn't completely "get it" but I can tell you that he is very intuitive and he loved Despicable Me. So I'm not jumping on the boycott this movie band wagon. Our family loved it and I will be buying it as soon as it comes out on DVD.
So on to the rest of our weekend!! I'm pretty sure that we have the HAPPIEST patio ever!
We have smiley faces everywhere!
Very important!! You must dip the sidewalk chalk in water first to watch it change colors!
And here is a picture of me...Collin said "This is you mama. You're beautiful" Oh that boy knows how to get right to my heart!!
Here are a couple of our recent favorites! We discovered Silly Bands thanks to Brylie and KC on vacation. All I can say is thank goodness they are cheap!
Collin calls them silly ribbons and he likes to wear ALL of them at once!
Collin has been on me for a while to have some Strawberry Milk due to his favorite Team Umizoomi episode "the Milk Out"
Hopefully it wasn't a total waste of money!!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
4th of July/Bits of our weekend
The Fourth of July has always been my favorite holiday-probably because my birthday is on the 5th so it ends up being a weekend of parties and fun. We spent some of the weekend looking at houses in Buckeye Lake. While we were driving home from vacation we got the crazy notion that we need to move to Buckeye Lake and live on the water-oh and so do my parents-LOL!! So who knows, if the hearts win we will be sitting on our pontoon boat having a weekend long bash on the lake next year for the 4th. If the brains win, we will be waiting a couple of years and maybe in 2012 we will be partying on the lake!! We will see.
On to our current life-not the dream one we have been living lately. Unfortunately both of us had to work Friday for the big Red, White and Boom bash downtown so we didn't get to take Collin to see the big fireworks show. Wyatt got off in time to get Collin picked up and watch the fireworks on TV...not as much fun but Collin seemed to enjoy it.
Saturday we were off work and ready to partay!! We went to Amy and Em's house for BBQ ribs and chicken-YUMMO! Oh and some Sangria and coconut cake and lots of other yummy stuff! Collin got to meet some new friends, Alanna and Alexander. I think they all had a great time playing!
I'm pretty sure they hit it off-LOL! Alanna is his hero now because she found his Lightning McQueen race car that he lost in Amy's yard and it was returned to him the next day. Man was he excited! He has been talking about it for days!
After dinner we headed to the Dublin Fireworks.
Then back to Amy's. The boys had hinted heavily that they were really, really, really looking forward to watching the UFC fight. We got back in plenty of time so everyone was happy!
Sunday was the REAL 4th of July! We smoked our first brisket ever-very good!
We went to the DooDah Parade and corrupted our son a bit! I love the WTH look on his face!
And became painfully aware of his intense fear of CLOWNS! He hid behind the chairs for most of the parade only peeking out for candy. Had I known the circus would scar him to this degree we never would have taken him! LOL
We had some good friends come over to celebrate. Collin had a great time playing with Kinnedy and Trenton! He was really sad they didn't join us at the fireworks!
Finally, we headed to our secret spot at the Hilliard fireworks!
If I told you I'd have to kill you...that's how good it is. If we were any closer we would be lighting them!
Fun Fourth of July!
On the 5th...did I mention it's my birthday??
Collin "helped" me open my birthday presents!
So he got a big smooch from Mama! Notice I wasn't even out of my Pj's yet!!
We spent the day at Buckeye Lake looking at houses again and having a nice relaxing, quiet, alone family day...but that didn't last long. Once we got home Wyatt had to go take care of some unavoidable business which caused him to miss the entire evening with us. He missed dinner, friends coming over and birthday cake. He almost missed us being awake too!! It seemed to really bother Collin that Daddy "missed the party" so he said "we can have another party and Daddy will be there" then he added "but next time it will be MY birthday" LOL!!!
Friday, July 2, 2010
FFF-U Pick
Favorite Photo Friday-U Pick-Crazy Cousins!
Collin's cousins Brylie and Kahlen were visiting for a couple of weeks so we have lots and lots of pictures! Once again I don't think I was able to get one where all three of them were looking at the camera and smiling NORMALLY at the same time! As you can see these three are BIG TROUBLE when they get together!! But they are also BIG FUN!!
Click here if you want to see more FFFon our friend Hannah's blog
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
FFF-What We Love
This weeks FFF theme is what we love. I did not have to think very hard about this one. Collin's #1 love:
The iTouch.
It all started with the iPhone. There are so many cool, educational apps for kids. I started downloading apps and letting Collin play on my phone-kind of a mistake! So much of a mistake that I began to look for a cheap iTouch on Craigslist for Collin. Yes, I am ashamed to say that I bought my 3 year old an iTouch just to get him off my phone. Before you judge, it came with rules...lots of them...most of them I make up as we go along-LOL! But, I think we are all happier now that Collin has "his own phone".
The second obsession-I mean love is a tie between:
NASCAR and the movie Cars-mainly Lightning McQueen-KA-CHOW!! I don't know of any other child that asks to watch NASCAR at nap time. Let him choose...Noggin or NASCAR...9 out of 10 times-he's picking NASCAR!?!WTH??
And last but not least, if you ever want Collin to do something:
Just offer him candy corn or Skittles. The things this kid will do for ONE candy corn!!
To see more FFF, check out our friend Hannah's blog!
The iTouch.
It all started with the iPhone. There are so many cool, educational apps for kids. I started downloading apps and letting Collin play on my phone-kind of a mistake! So much of a mistake that I began to look for a cheap iTouch on Craigslist for Collin. Yes, I am ashamed to say that I bought my 3 year old an iTouch just to get him off my phone. Before you judge, it came with rules...lots of them...most of them I make up as we go along-LOL! But, I think we are all happier now that Collin has "his own phone".
The second obsession-I mean love is a tie between:
NASCAR and the movie Cars-mainly Lightning McQueen-KA-CHOW!! I don't know of any other child that asks to watch NASCAR at nap time. Let him choose...Noggin or NASCAR...9 out of 10 times-he's picking NASCAR!?!WTH??
And last but not least, if you ever want Collin to do something:
Just offer him candy corn or Skittles. The things this kid will do for ONE candy corn!!
To see more FFF, check out our friend Hannah's blog!
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